Well, I guess it could have gone worse, but really can't see how. I don't know where I am, where to go, what to do. I have no food, no supplies, no nothing. The best I can do, I presume, is at least hold an account of my misfortune so some poor soul gets to share it with me.
I dont really know what to do. Collecting odd ends, like grass, sticks and pieces of flint. The whole area is kind of grassy and full of flowers. In fact, spent the entire afternoon picking flowers. That may have been a tad unproductive, but damnit, they look fabulous on my head.
Fabulous
Murderous
Delicious devils
Might as well check them out.
Wait, what the sweet christ is that thing.
..is that a mouth on top of it?
Yeeeah, not too keen on demonic frogs. Scouted west parts instead. Rocky lands. Might as well do some mining.
My mining craft coming in handy
GOOOOOLD
Afternoon, spent the day walking around looking for everything. Found a weird home. Weird plants.
And a crank.
I dont even know
Fuck you, Darwin.
I guess if there's some silver lining to this, it's all the gold deposits around here. Seriously, shit is so cash.
Swag
Yoink
2spooky
Well, free boomerang
Guess I can camp here for now.
There was also some weird box contraption thing. Looks like it might go with that crank thing. Picked it up just to be sure.
Also made a nifty grass outfit. Itches like hell though.
Sexy beast
See you in your dreams.
...
Did alot more walking around, searching, collecting. The isolation is kind of bearing on me. I think I'm starting to hear voices. But then it just turns out to be the wind. Or at least I think that's it.
Found another weird thing, this time a large ring. I'm not sure, but I think there might be something supernatural about it.
Whatever would give you that idea.
I'm not kidding I'm walking around so much, I start to imagine noises.
Wait, I'm not imagining those. There's some commotion going on.
"There's only room for ONE schoolgirl-molesting species around these parts!"
But seriously, this swamp is just not ending. It's dark, my pockets are full, I've got barely any food. Could it get any worse?
I hate everything.
These bogs are endless. I can't get out.
Yet somehow. Some insane bastard. Somebody thought it was a good idea to set up farm here.
Oh, also a metal potato head. Perfectly normal.
Im sick of not being able to carry everything.
In fact, those useless things, the crank, the box and the ring. Im just dumping them here.
...
...I can just feel it. I'm not crazy. Something is watching me.
...
God... I'm regretting to have set up a camp there already. There's no nearby wood for the fire, just thorny thistles and tentacles. Neither is really flammable. There's one unexplored area in the north, putting my chips on it.
Walking food.
Found a green mushroom. A decent antidepressant.
Wait, what is that thing.
Otto von Chesterfield, Esquire.
A stroll up a road to the north and I have finally found it!
Civilization!
Well, ok, maybe not. They don't seem to be very sociable.
Pft, next you'll say I look like a crazy hermit.
"Bring me Han Solo."
...
OH GOD WHY, THE OUTSKIRTS HERE SUCK.
It's full of spiders! I found some decent loot in the very north, like a blow dart and some meat.
Saw a pig try to fight off a nest of spiders. It did not work.
Also decided to exhume a grave for some riches. Instead found some old dentures.
Oh, by the way, did I mention the spiders!?
Not shown: MILLION MORE SPIDERS.
PURGE IT WITH FIRE! PURGE IT WITH FIRE! PURGE IT WITH FIRE! PURGE IT WITH- oh crap.
Um, whoops?
Back home the pig king has taken a notice of the dentures and let me know that he'd like to have them.
I'd almost give him them for free, but...
Greed is good.
Well, with all said and done, this camp is up and I'm all sorts of well stocked. Time to jam.
Hella jammin'