Universal Lady Justice Aya

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AlexMdle
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Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya

Postby AlexMdle » Sun Aug 05, 2012 1:09 am

Posting that in public invites criticism.

Be sure to flesh out your ideas to a professional level you would expect from actual publishers if you want people to give actual constructive criticism on your ideas.

Otherwise they will just question the point of posting those.

I'll try to provide some regardless, just bear with it if it gets too scathing.

---

Just this week, I have thought of an idea for an interesting magical girl anime that I call Universal Lady Justice Aya. Like some animes such as Puella Magi and Utena, this is not a typical anime.

I don't understand what's not "typical" about the animes you've listed. They have moody atmospheres and alot of interesting ideas and underlying motives, but they are not exactly "Serial Experiments Lain" sort of deep cerebral experience. In fact, mood and atmosphere are what really makes them stand apart, which are quite common points for anime.

I think the term you've been searching for is "mainstream", which would sort of be true in that case.


It's more of science fiction vs fantasy.

Please, elaborate more on that. The text I've read below did not do anything to explain this. There was nothing said about the methods or reasons of the anti-magic organization. If they are opposed to magic in favor of technology you have to say why and make a reasonable argument to create a sense of conflict between the two.

I got the idea since in the usual animes, magical girls would often try to conceal themselves from the public. So I decided to work on that while dealing with breaking external and internal forces that drive people into lives and cycles of isolation, alienation, despair, and violence. Here's my synopsis:

I really quite like the way you worded that. That could actually make for a much more interesting dilemma. It honestly reminds me of superheroes and how their identities are a constant threat not only to themselves but also those close to them and how it can positively wreck their private life. Applying this to magical girls is actualy quite clever.

In the world, desperate girls have their pleas answered by finding white crystals and becoming magicals until until their lives are fulfilled. However, they have also become targets as worldwide anti-magical organization hunts them down. These such external dangers force these girls into hiding in a life of isolation and alienation.


Uh, why? I personally have problems when "evil organizations" get introduced, with no legitimate explanation of why they are being dicks. It's t he Captain Planet approach to antagonists, taking large, faceless and monolothic organizational structures and portraiting them as assholes for the sole reason of being assholes.

Furthermore, as I have said before, I dont really sense any conflict between magic and sci-fi, or even plain science there. It feels more like a conflict between idealism and cynism the way you explain it, though you can certainly apply it to those two elements.

Aya Masa, a girl isolated from the world by her protective mother, finds herself helpless at school and with her friends. This is until she finds a crystal and encounters another magical girl. Now a magical girl herself, she hopes to break the external and interal barrier of her life. As she does, she tries to free the abused, isloated, and dominated from their own cycles of suffering and bring justice to their oppressors. This is the epic story of a girl who brings hope to those under the shadow of despair.


Sounds like a good setup for a main character. Exploring the aspect of isolation and alienation from and through society in family and at school through the eyes of somebody going right through it is wonderful if done right.

Hell, if I were you I would do a full-blown unreliable storytelling, Pan's Labyrinth style. You should watch that movie. It handles the exact theme of magic vs reality and leaves it up for the viewer to interprete it's events while being whimsy, imaginative but also cruel and gritty at the same time.
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Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya

Postby Armored Entity » Sun Aug 05, 2012 2:14 pm

AlexMdle wrote:
In the world, desperate girls have their pleas answered by finding white crystals and becoming magicals until until their lives are fulfilled. However, they have also become targets as worldwide anti-magical organization hunts them down. These such external dangers force these girls into hiding in a life of isolation and alienation.


Uh, why? I personally have problems when "evil organizations" get introduced, with no legitimate explanation of why they are being dicks. It's t he Captain Planet approach to antagonists, taking large, faceless and monolothic organizational structures and portraiting them as assholes for the sole reason of being assholes.

Furthermore, as I have said before, I dont really sense any conflict between magic and sci-fi, or even plain science there. It feels more like a conflict between idealism and cynism the way you explain it, though you can certainly apply it to those two elements.



And yet Alex, series such as Metal Slug, Megaman, Ketsui Kizuna, and many others use this, and you don't mind it there, so why here?

As for me, I like this Evil Corporation idea, but I want to know how you implement it. Whatever you do, don't make their main battle strategy to be that they sit around in their hideout or fortress or whatever, then they look through their list of available monsters or battle robots or such, then pick one at random to wreck havoc as their attack for today. Then after Aya defeats it, the guy form the Evil Corporation escapes and says something like "This isn't over, I'll be back with another one next time, and then you'll pay for this!" This is like the type of strategy that Evil Corporation characters such as Rita in Power Rangers, Dr. Wily in Megaman, King DeDeDe in Kirby, The Doom Cardians in Sailor Moon, or Gonard in Kappa Mikey use. That concept is so stupid, don't use it.

Instead, make their usual attacks involve raiding the area with their various foot soldiers, battle machines, and stuff, and using actual tactics and strategy in their assault, and also at least managing to kill a good number of people every time. They can also use a large mega robot or monster or something, but it isn't the main part of their assault. Like it can be the finishing blow or desperation move for them. That's what you should use.

Oh, and be sure to make this Evil Corporation's henchmen, death machines, and what not look and appear really really awesome and sophisticated looking and have extremely cool and awesome weaponry and powers and such. Don't forget that, for that will make it a great and awesome series too.


Also, I like the idea that Aya doesn't hide her powers from the public and lets others know about them. It makes her seem more comfortable about herself and wants others to see her splendor. However, I hope this doesn't evolve to her becoming like some sort of Iron-Man or Powerpuff Girls type superhero. Like she isn't treated that way, despite everyone knows about her powers and stuff.
And by the way, is Aya going to be super cute and cuddly and moe' and stuff? Definitely add that, no doubt.
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Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya

Postby AlexMdle » Sun Aug 05, 2012 3:39 pm

And yet Alex, series such as Metal Slug, Megaman, Ketsui Kizuna, and many others use this, and you don't mind it there, so why here?


:2xfacepalm:

I stopped reading after that.
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Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya

Postby [][][][] » Mon Aug 06, 2012 2:28 am

Try researching around, Armored Entity.
Or should I do it for you...?



I might be wrong here, but here's one thing to mind:
These games you listed?
They are not very conductive for story.
And they completely miss the form of media.
Try basing off your arguments on something that holds a bit more ground, okay?
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Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya

Postby Armored Entity » Mon Aug 06, 2012 3:03 am

Okay, sorry about that. Well I still would rather the Evil Corporations in Universal Lady Justice to use a strategy with actual full-on assualts and tactics and stuff, and not the Rita/King Dedede/Doom Cardian style one. It is more better.

Also, what kind of powers does Aya have? What all can she do with her magical abilities? Also does she have any allies and teammates, and who are they and what are they like?
I would like to ask a favor from for anyone who is my friend here.
If someday we meet in person in the near future, and I had recently done anything that would confirm that I had become a Brony (which as of now I am not one), such as if I had posted on a Pony-related fan-site, drawn a Pony-themed artwork, contributed to a Pony fanfic, or anything else along those lines. If I have done anything like that, I want you to punch me in the face without warning. This make sound like I'm joking, but I am absolutely serious about this. Ignore any future statements retracting this if I ever make any. Though if you do, please first confirm that it is me who is doing it, and not some Brony who is posing as me and wants to see me get punched. I do not wish to go down the path of the Bronies, and hopefully those of you reading this will help me so that it stays that way, if god forbid I ever even attempt it.
Thank you.

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Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya

Postby JameyoftheMegacosmos » Mon Aug 06, 2012 3:04 am

AlexMdle wrote:
Just this week, I have thought of an idea for an interesting magical girl anime that I call Universal Lady Justice Aya. Like some animes such as Puella Magi and Utena, this is not a typical anime.

I don't understand what's not "typical" about the animes you've listed. They have moody atmospheres and alot of interesting ideas and underlying motives, but they are not exactly "Serial Experiments Lain" sort of deep cerebral experience. In fact, mood and atmosphere are what really makes them stand apart, which are quite common points for anime.

I think the term you've been searching for is "mainstream", which would sort of be true in that case.


Yeah, you're right. I probably mean something like that. Just something that's not always the happy childish magical girl animes people know.

AlexMdle wrote:
I got the idea since in the usual animes, magical girls would often try to conceal themselves from the public. So I decided to work on that while dealing with breaking external and internal forces that drive people into lives and cycles of isolation, alienation, despair, and violence. Here's my synopsis:

I really quite like the way you worded that. That could actually make for a much more interesting dilemma. It honestly reminds me of superheroes and how their identities are a constant threat not only to themselves but also those close to them and how it can positively wreck their private life. Applying this to magical girls is actualy quite clever.


It most certainly comes up in the anime. At first, Aya keeps herself hidden like the rest of the magical girls, but later reveals her powers at the end of the first part (there are five parts). Though she's given greater bad publicity by the anti-magical faction (I'll explain in the next post) every time she breaks down a barrier and wins a major victory, she continues to do the right thing (If Story were here, he'd call this Hero with Bad Publicity reconstructed). In addition, yes, she does get some privacy problems when she becomes publicly known, but she'll also have internal problems to deal with besides the anti-magical faction and the public.

AlexMdle wrote:
In the world, desperate girls have their pleas answered by finding white crystals and becoming magicals until until their lives are fulfilled. However, they have also become targets as worldwide anti-magical organization hunts them down. These such external dangers force these girls into hiding in a life of isolation and alienation.


Uh, why? I personally have problems when "evil organizations" get introduced, with no legitimate explanation of why they are being dicks. It's the Captain Planet approach to antagonists, taking large, faceless and monolothic organizational structures and portraiting them as assholes for the sole reason of being assholes.

Furthermore, as I have said before, I dont really sense any conflict between magic and sci-fi, or even plain science there. It feels more like a conflict between idealism and cynism the way you explain it, though you can certainly apply it to those two elements.


That I'll explain in my "Terminology" section for my anime. For comment on the fantasy vs. sci fi thing, it would actually be something more than that later in the story. It's just what it looks like in the first few sections. Same with idealism vs cynism, though that would last a little longer.

AlexMdle wrote:
Aya Masa, a girl isolated from the world by her protective mother, finds herself helpless at school and with her friends. This is until she finds a crystal and encounters another magical girl. Now a magical girl herself, she hopes to break the external and interal barrier of her life. As she does, she tries to free the abused, isloated, and dominated from their own cycles of suffering and bring justice to their oppressors. This is the epic story of a girl who brings hope to those under the shadow of despair.


Sounds like a good setup for a main character. Exploring the aspect of isolation and alienation from and through society in family and at school through the eyes of somebody going right through it is wonderful if done right.


Of course it will. Not only will it be explored through Aya (which involve internal forces), but also her friends and the anti-magical faction (whose commanders represent external forces).

AlexMdle wrote:Hell, if I were you I would do a full-blown unreliable storytelling, Pan's Labyrinth style. You should watch that movie. It handles the exact theme of magic vs reality and leaves it up for the viewer to interprete it's events while being whimsy, imaginative but also cruel and gritty at the same time.


I haven't seen the movie, but I'm sure it would be good. I guess I should check it out. I already have something like that so far, but I will check more on it.

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Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya

Postby JameyoftheMegacosmos » Mon Aug 06, 2012 3:17 am

Armored Entity wrote:Okay, sorry about that. Well I still would rather the Evil Corporations in Universal Lady Justice to use a strategy with actual full-on assualts and tactics and stuff, and not the Rita/King Dedede/Doom Cardian style one. It is more better.

Also, what kind of powers does Aya have? What all can she do with her magical abilities? Also does she have any allies and teammates, and who are they and what are they like?


Those are the attacks the anti-magic faction does usually. First, they become covert or minorly publicized, but then become more public and on a larger scale.

Aya will most certainly have allies. Her first one in magical girl sense is a mentor girl a little like Mami. Though she dies, Aya gets new allies, including her own friends, other magical girls she came across with her mentor, and (SPOLIER!) even her own mother. The cast will come later.
Last edited by JameyoftheMegacosmos on Mon Aug 06, 2012 3:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya

Postby CoreShooter » Mon Aug 06, 2012 3:18 am

define good anime as "Flying Magical Girls"


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Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya

Postby [][][][] » Mon Aug 06, 2012 3:35 am

Performed well, of course, such an idea can be pulled off.
But that's another thing.

Care to show some work other than ideas?
There was once something here,

but it's now gone.

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Universal Lady Justice Aya Terminology

Postby JameyoftheMegacosmos » Mon Aug 06, 2012 4:26 am

Alright. Here is my current terminology for my anime so far:

Hope Crystal: Small white cylindrical crystals (~1.5 inches in diameter and 6 inches in height) that are the primary source of a magical girl's power. Once used, the girl transforms into a magical girl and the crystal transforms into her primary tool/weapon. When first used, the crystal taps into the girl's mind as part of a "registration" for magical girls, reading her background and her biggest desire at that time. Those of which determine the powers, characteristics, and overall maximum power level of the magical girl. With some exceptions, each magical girl must have her own Hope Crystal to transform; they can not be used by multiple girls at the same time. Also, a girl can only transform if they still have regrets or personal problems; once such things are resolved, she can not become a magical girl. She can become a magical girl again if new problems develop, but must be "re-registered". As a note, the crystals can also create magical boys, which is done in the same manner.



Last edited by JameyoftheMegacosmos on Tue Aug 07, 2012 6:01 am, edited 2 times in total.


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